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Korean Family Customs - Main Page
Under Confucianism, the proper relationship between the genders was also based on one of the five human relationships (o-ryun)-that of husband and wife. This system does not aim to subordinate women to men, but merely holds that both men and women have certain duties to perform and a set of ethics to observe vis-a-vis the other. In its practical application, this ideal, learned from an early age, affected not just husband and wife, but virtually all relations between the genders.
From early childhood, children played and grew up segregated by gender as illustrated in the adage: "Boys and girls at the age of seven should not be allowed to sit in the same room." This was adhered to except in the case of brothers and sisters who followed another set of ethics governing family relations.
The strict application of these rules resulted in severe restrictions on women, while relative freedom was allowed for men. Women's behavior was dictated by the law of the three obediences: obeisance to the father before marriage, to the husband upon marriage, and to the son after the husband's death. Female submission to male authority was not due to the perception of innate female weakness or inadequacy; rather, it had to do with the strict separation of social spheres in the organization of society. The woman's role was "within," that is, within the home which was her domain to control. The man's role was "outside," and his concern was limited to the affairs of the state and life beyond the confines of the home.
It was the woman's duty to care for the children, to help her husband with the farm work, to prepare family meals, to make the family's clothes, and to create an atmosphere of peace so as to better enable her husband to concentrate on the larger issues of society. The female role was firmly established within the confines of the home and women were expected to adhere strictly to that role.
Although strict observance of Confucian-inspired ideals is now a rarity, Korean men and women are still conscious of their positions as expressed not only in their behavior but in their speech as well. Love and affection between man and woman is rarely expressed openly, not even between husband and wife. Likewise, just as there are special words and honorifics for use between family members and friends, so there are a special set of words used just between husband and wife as well.
Information provided by the Korean Embassy